Lonely? You’re in good company!

Nazo, 68, weeps at a local park after returning to Gori to find her home looted and destroyedMaybe it wasn’t always this way…
You had  kids…
You were married…
You were part of a group…
You had a little group of friends…
Your family was close…
Over the years things have changed.
The kids are grown…
The marriage ended or your partner is not really emotionally available…
The group had some fall out and no longer gets together…
Now you have no one to go to the movies with…
You eat alone most of the time…
The relationships you do have, are unsatisfying and draining.
What is the result of all this emptiness?
Your inner critic is having a field day!
The things you tell yourself about yourself are like thick ropes, tied to your heart, fastened to a boulder of loneliness, and hopelessness.
Its important to note that with the increase of social media usage, research shows that loneliness and social isolation is rampant and on the rise.
The good news is that if this is you, then the stats prove that while you may feel lonely you are in good company!
Ironic right?
When you are hungry you eat…
When you are tired you sleep…
When you are thirsty you drink…
When you are lonely you…
What do you do?
Do you wallow?
Do you buy into the negative self talk?
Do believe the lie that you are without options?
The difference between responding to a hungry belly and a hungry heart is that we have been taught, when it comes to food, how to feed ourselves.
Maybe you cook or maybe the Chinese food delivery guy knows your address as well as his own.
Either way, you know how to eat.
So how do you feed a hungry heart?

Know that feelings are not facts 
The thoughts associated with the loneliness are only part of your real story.  What’s more, many of those thoughts are  born out of the past and put a stranglehold on the future.

Give back 
Every town has a nursing home with people forgotten about by society.  Visit, volunteer and help those who need a boost and watch the boost you get in return

Quit quitting
You tried online dating and didn’t meet the love of your life within the first five dates? There are approximately seven billion people on the planet earth.  You went on five dates and then said “everyone is creepy”.   You are currently unqualified to make that observation. When you’ve gone on four or five billion dates then you will have a better sense of what “everyone” is like.

Bungee jump 
Or take an art class. Or a cooking class.  Or______________.  Do something you never thought you would.   Getting out of your norm exposes you to a world of potential new activities AND to the people who also love them.  (If you bungee jump based on this post  I demand video…)

Go deep
Solitude has been used as  a spiritual discipline for thousands of years.  Pray, read, breathe and grow this part of your life.  Remember the words of Thomas Merton who said “It is in loneliness that the deepest activities begin…”

There is no question that loneliness is serious business.  There is also no question that you have choices.  Learning to feed your head and your heart when you are lonely is essential.

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Curious about life coaching?  Call 978.994.0431 or email ThatLifeNow@gmail.com to set up a confidential, free, sample session with Jim Trick today!

One thought on “Lonely? You’re in good company!

  1. Excellent. I am not lonely (married to my best friend, who I met online when that was still considered “sketchy”), however being a retired woman who raised several kids and worked full time for many years, I sometimes feel as if I could do much more with my time. I recently backed away from Facebook for Lent, do volunteer once a week for 2 hours in a very non-business office, but your nursing home idea is one I’ve thought about often. And I’d like to take dance class again. Thank you for getting me motivated to (maybe) pursuing both!

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