Truth: I Lie to Myself

This is our 2nd post from ThatLife contributor  Christine Clark.   Today she reflects on the topic of truth and how truth is applied to self.

 

I ponder truth, and all that comes to mind is lies.

Lie to me. I do it all the time. I tell my lies when I’m future self. Future self lies every day. Future self will . . . write later, exercise tomorrow, eat healthier—next week.

Lie to me. I do it all the time. Nebulous future self is my biggest lie. Truth lies in my substance as a living being—a woman, mother, writer, gardener. My core truth resides in the now—with every breath, thought, movement, with very word, written or spoken.

The truth of my fleeting self is that I am here for a minute capsule of time—my present, so why would I ever lie to me?

The Great Until also puts powerful brakes on living my truth.

Lie to me. I do it all the time: “Until the dishes are done, floor mopped, mortgage paid (fill in the blank ____________). Until the Great Until, I continue to lie to me.

I lie to me. I do it all the time. It paralyzes me.

Will I lie to myself today? I must, we all must, find our truth in present self and banish The Great Until to the great beyond.

 

Christine Clark is a writer and speaker known for her work in grief, mourning, and healing. The loss of her seven-year-old daughter to cancer has fueled eighteen years of soul-searching, honest conversations about what it means to endure profound loss. Chris’s work enables others to lead a fulfilled, rich life that incorporates grief, mourning, and a return to love and life.  A skilled communicator, Christine uses disarming humor and transparency to relay a core message of heart wrenching sadness leading to transformative hope. Available for lectures, retreats and healing services Christine Clark adds impactful depth to any event where inspiration is the goal.  Chris has written guest blogs for ShareWIK.com and ThatLife.com.  For more information visit http://mysistersgarden.blogspot.com

 

Dying for Love

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Can you slow down for a minute?
Who do you love?
What do they know about your love for them?
How do they know?
What do you tell them?
What do you do for them to let them know?
Who do you love?
What don’t they know about your love for them?
What are you not telling them?
What are you not doing to let them know?
I’ve recently attended some pretty inspirational funeral services.
They were all the things you might imagine a funeral to be.
They were sad, complicated, tragic and yet at the same time they were inspirational.
They were a manifest mix of vulnerability and transparency as the dearly beloved shared how they really feel.
I wonder how you really feel.
I also wonder why it seems so hard to live in a way that conveys the depth of that feeling.
Is it that we can’t bear the thought that our loved ones won’t always be around to hear it?
Are we embarrassed, trapped in weak character due to our inability to be meaningfully vulnerable?
Or do we truly not know what we have until its gone?
As for the ones that have gone ahead, can they hear from there?
No one knows for sure and I would caution certainty in either direction.
One thing is for certain.
You can hear me right now and I can hear you.
Happily, the people we have said goodbye to were in the care of people who love well.
They fell asleep knowing.
Lets live making sure those in our care know.
Be clear about it.
Be overt, deliberate and creative.
We can’t lament the past.
We can choose to love, forgive and connect right now.
Who do you know that needs to “know”?
Tell them everything while you can.

Thinking about hiring a life coach?  Call 978.994.0431 or email ThatLifeNow@gmail.com to set up a confidential, free, sample session today!

The danger of dreaming

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I am pleased to welcome a new contributor to ThatLife.com!  Today Brittni Bowering makes her debut here at ThatLife with a piece that she and I have partnered on.  We hope you enjoy The Danger of Dreaming!

Apparently, everyone dreams. Even if you don’t remember it, you dreamt last night. The thing about dreaming when you’re sleeping is, that when you wake up, it’s always, “just a dream”. Sometimes a relief, sometimes not…

So what about the dreams we have for ourselves in our conscious life? The ones regarding our careers, our relationships and our futures. The ones we are sure will eventually end up being our reality. Should we be prepared to “wake up” one day to realize that these too were just dreams?

Although this may sound a tad pessimistic, it might be worth asking: Should your happiness really ride on the realization of your wildest dreams?

You see, the danger with dreams is that they can often close your mind to other opportunities in life. You can be so focused on a dream, that you miss out on your reality. Quick note: This absolutely does not mean that dreaming stops you from achieving! On the contrary actually. But something to keep in mind while we go on living our lives, is that the feeling of a dream (as exciting and intoxicating as it might be) isn’t as great as feeling the reality of something, well, real.

It’s important to remember that sometimes a dream is a dream, because it wasn’t meant to be a reality. How can you know the difference? Start with these three questions.

 

  1. What goals / deadlines will you attach to your dream to turn it into a reality? If you are unwilling to commit to meaningful action in service of your dream the dream may not be all its cracked up to be. Create an action plan and find someone to hold you accountable to your commitments.

 

  1. How will pursuing your dream impact your current life and the lives of those in your care? Are people going to suffer needlessly in order for you to accomplish what you are setting out to do? What relational ducks do you need to get in a row before you begin?

 

  1. How does this dream line up with your personal values? Is this a dream that makes the world a better place? What is your motivation and does it come from a healthy place?

For a free one on one, sample coaching session write to Jim Trick at thatlifenow@gmail.com or call 978.994.0431