Overcoming insecurity


What kind of crazy are you?
I hope you don’t mind me asking.
I’m not using crazy as a technical term and I’m pretty sure people who are qualified to actually diagnose crazy, have more sophisticated jargon these days.
I’m talking about those moments when something hits you with an irrational emotion that takes you by surprise and for you all your strength and self awareness you can’t easily change it.
If you own your crazy then you’re probably not offended.
If you are offended you might be in denial.
Most of my own personal crazy is centered around insecurity.
Insecurity is rampant in our culture, even though a great deal of it goes unseen.
Some of us are better at hiding it than others.
What does your insecurity look like?
Terrified of being left out?
When criticized do you tend to run off and cry about it rather than consider it as a chance to grow and change?
What have you always wanted to try but don’t because you’re concerned about what others will think of you?
Have you created impressive security blankets to throw others off the trail of your insecurity?
Do you look at others and make up stories in your head about how awesome there lives are compared to yours?
Insecurity manifests itself in countless ways, and yet I am convinced that it all stems from the same source.
A perceived lack of love.
They key word here is perceived… stay with me.
We live for love.
To give it and to receive it.
There is nothing in the world that provides the kind of security that comes from feeling loved.
It’s why throughout the ages people who love each other are able to make it through the darkest seasons .
Its also why many who are abundant materially are the most insecure.
It in this sphere that I offer the following observation and potential solution.
Our ability to feel secure exists in direct proportion to how loved we believe ourselves to be.
We feel unloved largely because we often don’t know where to go for it.
Love is literally everywhere so why does it often seem to be in such short supply?
Because most of us are only pursuing one kind.
Most of us are primarily interested in the kind of love that comes from others.
Thinking that the kind of love that comes from other people will satisfy our deepest longings is like thinking that a person can live a happy, healthy life eating nothing but cake.
It doesn’t work (trust me… I’ve tried)
Want to give your ol insecurity a solid kick in the head?
Learn about love!
Learn how to give it.
Know all the places you can get it.
Sure love comes from friends, family and romantic relationships, but that’s only part of supply chain.
Insecurity arises when we try to put the wrong kind of love in the wrong part of our heart.
God’s love needs a ton of room.
Know what else does?
The love your supposed to have for yourself.
Now, I get that you are everything from atheists to right leaning evangelicals and everything in between.
I personally write from a post evangelical, Christ-centric world view and therefore the best I have to offer without sounding preachy to is that most of our struggle comes from trying to put human love where God’s love is supposed to go.
Right behind God’s love is the love we are meant to have for ourselves.
Perhaps that seems so foreign to you, but truly some of the most important work you can do is about learning how to love yourself.
There is a pity party and a long sad story that some have written.
It stands like the great wall of China keeping you feeling insecure and cut off from what you think you need to be whole.
Its time to write a new story.
Perhaps that story begins with list of people who need your love.
Who are five people, from strangers to family members who could use a little selfless / non manipulative love from you this week?

Robin Williams a coward?




I was checking in on Facebook on the morning of the 12th and one of my friends had written this:

“I’ve unfriended six people so far.  Each of them posted updates indicating that Robin Williams is a coward, who took the easy way out.”

Up until that moment I had heard nothing about his death.
My first move was to Google his name.
That was when I heard the news.
Robin Williams, dead at age 63 from an apparent suicide.
Like most people I was utterly shocked and saddened.
I then thought back to my friend’s post about what people were saying.
My internal reaction to their comments was more visceral and aggressive than it was to his passing.
I can’t do anything about Robin Williams.
I wish I could, but I just can’t.
What CAN we do about people who call him a coward who took the easy way out?
Ignore them?
Block them on social media?
Fire back with venom?
Give them a high five (in the face…)?
There are lots of things we can do that might make us feel better for a minute but in the end the only person we can really change in ourself.
To those who bravely work to address depression and mental illness, keep up the good work.
It is not easy and your courage is inspirational.
Continue your meds, go to therapy and be really good to yourself.
To those who’s lives have been impacted by the suicide of a friend or loved one, know that we can’t cure a person’s mental illness.  All we can ever do is love and support them even when we can’t fully understand what they are going through.
To the misguided fools who have used words like “coward” or “selfish” to describe Robin Williams I have this to say
Depression is not a character flaw.
Ignorance is.