My mom still knows best…


My mom is getting older.

I just watched the curser blink under that sentence for half a minute.

I realized yesterday that I have not been as patient or attentive as she needs me to be.

She forgets, walks slow and repeats herself.

I usually feel frustrated by it, but that started to change yesterday.

Like a wave of the Spirit it hit me.

It is time for the investment she made in me to finally pay off.

I keep a cane in the car for her to use if we are going to walk any distance.

We argue about it because she does not want to use it.

I eventually just let it go.

Yesterday instead of trying to force a cane on her I did something different.

I offered her my hand.

Her hands are crispy from years of work, dry skin and wear.

They are bent from arthritis.

But at the same time her hands are soft and beautiful like a mom’s.

I offered her my hand and she joyfully took hold.

Our fingers intertwined.

I felt the mix of wear and warmth and it was beautiful.

We walked along Rockport Massachusetts’s Bearskin neck hand in hand until we reached the sea.

All the time I have spent arguing with her I could have been holding on to her.

The speed at which we walked became irrelevant.

The physical connection allowed deeper conversation.

The proximity allowed for quieter voices.

I’m thankful for this lesson learned and I wonder…

Where else am I offering a fist instead of an open hand?

Who will you open your hand to this week?

What will it feel like?

How will it change things?

10 thoughts on “My mom still knows best…

  1. Jim…that was a very heartfelt and deep interpretation of the mother child relationship. That relationship is an interesting dynamic and different to every two people engaged in that relationship. What is most important is that at some point in the relationship, the realization of that bond is felt on the deep level you describe. Your mother is one lucky lady to have YOU as a son! I only hope to get the opportunity to meet her someday! Happy Mother’s Day to her!

  2. This is a beautiful post. All who have parents will feel the deep connection you have spoken of. We have such a harried life that we forget what is really important. If I had one wish,,,I would talk to my mother one more time and tell her that I love her.

  3. Pingback: Mom Down – permission slips

  4. When they first forced me to put my mom in the Alzheimer’s ward, I thought of how horrible other families were, that would stop visiting after X amount of months or years on the ward. I promised I would never be that person. I am now that person and I am not proud. In fact, it is disgusting and selfish on my part and justice will come when my own children do not come to visit me. God forgive me for I am weak and cowardly.

  5. This is so beautiful & inspirational!!! It is hard to always stay focused taking care of our elderly Mom’s. Reading this has put a smile on my face. I always tell my Mom, when I was a little girl I needed to hold your hand, now, you need to hold mine. 🙂

  6. Yes. That is the way to do it. Enjoy her as she is, where she is, so long as she is…enjoy her. The love and patience and care and compassion and gentleness you give her now will be an investment that will pay rich dividends the rest of your life.

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